Saint Hillary draws her plans for the throne

Nevermind the instantly boring campaign 2004, a race that ended in mid-April around the same time as Saddam Hussein’s rule. (Sorry, Deano, you won’t even get a chance to be the next Nader!) With campaign 2004’s long, weaving season out of the way, thanks to the military we embedded with those reporters in Iraq, it’s now best to set our arched eyebrows towards the presidential election of 2008.

The first big story of what the networks are already calling Crowning Hillary the Great in Oh Eight is the debut of Senator Hillary Clinton’s fake book last week. With that, campaign 2008 begins, as Hillary’s unbearably stupid interview with Barbara Walters last week has quickly materialized as her kick-off event. In case you doubt this, believe it or not, the interview’s toughest question came when Walters actually asked Clinton, “”Are you a saint?”” (Babs is just begging for it–Cheri O’Teri don’t hold back!)

The Blogsphere’s liberal left contingent, which is less than 5% of the total scene anyway, has been hilariously silent for Hill’s book debut, perhaps because blogs are all about truth, and no truthful blogger (even a dem-blogist) could ever approach the book without mentioning (er, disclosing) that it is written entirely by a ghostwriter. It’s even funnier to mention that I bet Hill didn’t even pen the jacket’s fake handwriting-scrawled title herself, either.

Thankfully, neither of these pesky truths about the book have gotten in the way of the major media’s truth brigade, and since they’re overwhelmingly liberal anyway, a vast majority of them have been right in line with Walter’s carefully-lobbed softballs in terms of their coverage. These are good signs for Saint Hill as she puts out those early feelers for 2008, as her fake book’s debut has generated more coverage in a week than the nine democratic dwarves have warranted all spring.

She’ll need only a few more easy pieces to complete her pre-campaign victory lap, and at least a few of them besides the full adoration of the media are assured. First off, she’s set herself up to win whether or not Willy keeps it in, so she’s got obstacle numero uno out of the way right there. Secondly, there appear to be no more qualified Bushes in line (though who can tell, really), and with that, it appears that the right has no candidate more formidable than Lazio was the last time she walked in.

I’m afraid there may be only one great write hope for the majority of polled Americans who say they do not want Hillary to be president, even these five years out. It’s the buzz that Election Bore in 2004 will herald the rise of the blog as the next stage of Web-enabled campaigning. If this widely-growing pundit premonition turns out to be insta-correct, then perhaps the right-leaning blogsphere will wield enough influence in 2008 to keep Saint Hillary’s army chomping at the gates.

On second thought, all may be lost after all. For if that is the case, Mrs. Clinton could simply follow in her own footsteps and premier the ghostwritten blog. Hey Begala, I smell a thunder-stealing dem catch-phrase: It’s the blog, stupid!

Mike Tyson in the fight of his life

Greta Van Susteren’s Mike Tyson piece just aired on the Fox network’s horrible newsmagazine, The Pulse. Besides her fake, stupid “I’m trying to be serious” look, the piece was not a total trash job like I expected it to be.

Tyson was convicted of raping Desree Washington in 1992, and the piece spent much time uncovering jurors, witnesses, and Tyson’s attorney, all contributing evidence that the trial was a sham.

Web media was flashing snippets of the piece all day, no doubt released early by Fox for just that purpose, in which Tyson was quoted as saying he was so mad at Washington that he would rape her today if he saw her.

The quote, typical Tyson, is certainly outrageous- but it’s equally as outrageous for a hack, pompous journalist like Van Susteren to provoke Tyson into a typically Tyson-esque quote just for ratings.