My apartment is infested with koala bears. It’s the cutest infestation ever. Way better than cockroaches. When I turn on the light a bunch of koala bears scatter. But I don’t want ’em to, you know, I’m like “Hey, hold on, fellas. Let me hold one of you…and feed you a leaf.” –Mitch Hedberg, 1968-2005. …

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In Memory

“When the Lord calls me home, whenever that may be, I will leave with the greatest love for this country of ours and eternal optimism for its future… I know that for America, there will always be a bright dawn ahead.” –President Ronald Reagan