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  • It's been a long road, but I finally got approval to open my sports-themed breakfast restaurant. The name is BATTER UP! #
  • I love how the oil spill is completely off the front page of the news…(Borat voice)…NOT. #TheMediaisPerfect #DontCriticizetheMedia #
  • Are we doing #ff anymore? If so, #ff @KeshaSuxx @KeshaSuxx @KeshaSuxx @KeshaSuxx @KeshaSuxx @KeshaSuxx #
  • Just read a PDF by ME Edu. Assoc. that said charter schools were "created in the south to avoid integration". What a rotten, vile tactic. #
  • If I was an evil superhero, my name would be The Punchline Killer #
  • Isn't that a given? RT: @bangordailynews: Police: Be wary of rogue meat sellers. #
  • Why is Kagan watching herself via monitor? And why is she mad at herself? #
  • Guy who re-tweeted this questions self. RT @tombiro @alleyinsider: Guy who leaked Msft Win 8 pres. close to busted. #
  • I like to reply to tweets several hours later. It's just one of the things I do to keep strangers on their toes. #
  • I just thought of the #1 and #2 ALL-TIME best tweets, but I was busy painting a room at the time and couldn't get to my phone. #

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